This summer has been one full of self realization. I've been away from my friends most of the summer which has made me take a step back from myself and just kinda helped me take a birds eye view of my life. I've realized a few things about myself. I'm not generally considered to be a person who 'blends' or who doesn't like attention, but I've come to realize that fashion-wise, I've only wanted to do the opposite. That sounds EXTREMELY lame... but somewhere along the way I thought that I shouldn't stand out. Well, it actually wasn't 'somewhere along the way' it was when I started to go to public school for the first time. I don't know.. I mean, I already get looks from people because of my height, which I've been embarrassed about. So I just kind of figured that if I was bland about my fashion choices, then I would stop getting that kind of attention.
But then it's like, you know what? WHO CARES! I'm tall. So what. That's not something that I can change. Why should I be ashamed of what I am. I don't need to apologize to anyone about my appearance. And because of my height, I got it in my head that I couldn't wear skirts. Or heels. Someone always had to make a comment about my legs or my height when I did. Well, ladies and gents, I just went out and bought both skirts AND heels. And I've never felt better. I feel like I've got my touch of femininity back. I want to break out into a chorus of "I Feel Pretty" but other than the words "I feel pretty" I don't know any other words in the song...
Soooo, any-who.. My favorite musical has always been Les Miserables. But you probably already knew that. If you didn't, then there's a fun fact for ya. But seriously, I don't think that any other musical will ever top that one for me. It's just so... amazing. It's brilliant. Every time I watch it, I get emotional and cry like five times. It's just that good.
I've been reading the novel this summer, and have been comparing the two. Every time I watch it, I learn something new. I don't know. I feel SO nerdy right now, but watching Jean Valjean's journey is truly inspiring. For him to become so selfless and to take Cosette in and then to let her go. UGH. I try to put myself in that situation and see how I could handle something like that. I would LIKE to say that I would do the same as him. Basically, that's something else that has inspired me. To just do a good deed, without searching for any self-benefit in it. Not saying that I'm some ego-tistical person who never does things to help others, but... you get the picture.
Now, to completely change the scene... I went to Emily's concert tonight. I missed Mariah sing, which sucked.. But I got to see the other people perform. It was really great to see Em, Bartley, and Sara before I go. Since I probably won't see them until Christmas. Mind you, I was sportin' a brand new skirt. Which I was very proud of. Once I got home, I talked to Eli for almost two hours. We didn't really talk about ANYTHING. We just.. talked. It was normal. No sweat. I hope I can maintain those conversations with other people once I leave. That's something I'm afraid of.
I'm starting to thing that I should start blogging when I'm more awake. Because I don't even think this will make very much sense, seeing as how it's so dark that I can't even see the keys in front of my face. Well! I will write soon. Maybe.. ;)
P.S. And I would like to take this opportunity to thank the inventor of spell check. Which, with out, I would appear extremely unintelligent 80% of the time.
